Loving Cassidy
by Insane Kawaii Shippo-Chan
Summary: Nathan Explosion could never forget the girl who opened up his world to a life of metal and brutality. It didn't start off that way though. Now the rest of Dethklok are determined to find out just who is the girl that made Nathan who he was now. BadSum D:
1. Step into the Past

Chapter 1: Step into the Past

The men of Dethklok were all lounging around the entertainment room, enjoying cases full of beer and having a merry time. Pickles had had the bright idea of playing the childish game of _Truth or Dare_. Everyone had had a turn, except for Nathan who was somewhat patiently waiting for Skwisgaar to come up with a question, since Nathan had answered truth. Apparently he hadn't consumed enough alcohol to do anything stupid yet.

"Hmm… ah, when dids yous firsts has sex-als experience and tells us alls 'bout it. Likes, how dids it gets to dat point, or why dat girl… what happens afters?" he said, picking at a few notes on his guitar. It was quite the combo, but the front man was drunk enough not to care, though still not up to act like a jackass as Murderface, who was currently ordering a shipment of a thousand dildoes from a catalog online for gay men. It was one of Pickles' greatest dares.

Nathan sat back on the couch and furrowed his brow, trying to recall that event. He sat there in silence, everyone watching his every move. His eyes widen when he remembered and was suddenly flooded with long suppressed memories. It was an eerie feeling, and most of the things he remembered made him want to bash his head on the marble table. But it was his turn, and he chose _truth_. Damn the game.

"I was… in eighth grade." He said slowly, his eyes becoming unfocused as he stared at the table full of chips and beer bottles. The others, being stupid, cheered.

"Wow, thirteen? Dat's like… the youngests outta all of us, huh?" Pickles said, biting into a chip.

Nathan nodded a bit, "I remember I was at a party, right after the last day of school or something…" for the first time since the band started, Nathan was opening up to his past. Perhaps it was the beer talking, and retelling the story wouldn't conflict with their 'agreement'. No one was interfering. He was just talking about his first sex-capade.

-Flash Back-

A young Nathan Explosion walked down to the basement of his so called friend's house where they were having a party. The parents were out of town for the week on a business trip, leaving their son home alone. The kid was a good actor, making his parents and teachers believe he was the perfect little angel, but the children knew he was a wild one playing his cards right.

"You made it!" said a boy with shaggy red hair. For being Irish, his face or body wasn't covered in freckles. He was actually pretty handsome with his tall well built frame. However, he still looked lanky compared to Nathan whose body was a solid mass of bones and muscles under his skin.

Nathan shrugged, running a hand through his short but thick black hair. His green eyes scanned the group of middle school kids. There must have been at least twenty of the boy's closest friends crammed in the center where a table was covered in a mountain of chips, pizza, sodas and various bottles of alcohol. "Uh… yeah. My parents are at my grandma's house. They'll be back tomorrow night." His voice still had its childish tone, his puberty not quite set in yet.

"Sweet." Said the red head. "Well, everyone is pretty much here! Grab a drink and loosen up, dude!" Pressing the play button on a green stereo, music blasted. The other preteens danced with one another. Nathan noticed that half the girls were dressed in skimpy outfits, grinding themselves into their partners in a very sexual way. He frowned a little, realizing that some of them were the younger girls from school.

He grabbed a beer bottle and sat down on a crate, watching everyone dry hump each other. There wasn't a girl there who caught his attention yet. Explosion wasn't much of a social person anyway, but the prospected of alcohol made him come.

"Hey… can I sit here?" a voice broke through his train of thought and the music, even if it was small. He turned to his left and gasped a little, his eyes widening a fraction.

The short blond pigtail haired girl was dressed in a tight tank top and leather skirt with an oversized jacket and black converse. She wore heavy eyeliner with white sparkly eye shadow. Around her neck hung a gothic like cross on a choker collar, the pendant resting above her cleavage which he noticed her breasts were pretty big for someone her size. She shyly smiled up at him, waiting for his reply as she sipped her soda.

Nathan nodded. "Thanks. I didn't want to get dragged into the dancing just yet." Reaching over, she extended her hand. "Hi, I'm Cassidy. I moved here a few months ago. Jared said I should come to this party to meet the real folks at school now that the semester is over." She rolled her eyes at that. "Not that it matters to me. And you'd be?"

"Nathan." He said, taking her hand into his massive one. Her hands were unusually warm and he noticed she had black nail polish on, contrasting with her rather pale skin. "How'd uh… you meet Jared?"

She blushed, "Um… he, uh… he's the TA in my m-math class." She looked down at her lap, tugging at her skirt that reached to her mid thighs.

"But isn't that a sixth grade math class?" then it dawned on him, "You're a sixth grader?" he gave her body another look. There was just no way. She was too cute and had pretty big knockers to be one.

Cassidy giggled nervously, "Yeah, weird, isn't it? Jared said I was pretty cool, so he invited me." She looked around the room, "But now I don't see the point of coming. You're all leaving for high school when summer's over. I should be making friends with kids my age. The high school is across town." She sighed deeply.

Nathan watched as she leaned back into the wall, drinking more of her soda. Nathan thought she was pretty, Cassidy was kind of chill and not like the other annoying and obnoxious sixth graders at school. He locked his eyes with her blue ones. The girl blushed harder, but didn't or couldn't look away. It was Nathan who broke the eye contact.

"Uh… wanna dance?" he got up and set his bottle down. "Or uh… should I get some chips?"

Cassidy got up as well and grabbed his arm, putting her soda away, "If you don't mind… I'll dance." The two made it on the dance floor where only a hand full of people were still dancing and getting drunk. The others had sat on the other chairs and couches, making out or getting lap dances. Jared, their red headed friend, was last seen going up stairs with some black haired chick. Nathan briefly recognized her as one of the cheerleaders.

Cassidy was tiny compared to his height of five-eleven. She must have stood five-two or five three. The two began to dance in a series of bumps and grinds with her back to him. Nathan placed his hands on her waist, moving in rhythm to her swaying. The two danced for a while, losing track of time. Finally a slow song came up. Shrugging, Cassidy turned around and wrapped her arms around his torso, resting her head on his chest. Nathan wrapped his arms around her too and slowly swayed with her.

It was peaceful for the both of them. Neither spoke, which made the boy glad because he wasn't much for words. One arm was around her shoulder, holding her close to him as his other hand took off her the bands of her pigtails to let her hair fall to her midback before running his hand through her hair. He relished the feeling of her soft and silky smooth hair. The faint scent of vanilla wafted up to his nose, calming him more than the alcohol settling in his body.

Cassidy sighed contently, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his broad chest. The smell of his body wash and detergent gave off a pleasant and soothing scent that relaxed her. This was nice. Really nice. The music was cut off though as Jared came back, looking flushed but satisfied. The girl he had been with was not seen anywhere.

The couple broke apart as he gave them a sly look. A mischievous smile made its way on his lips. "Let's play _Spin the bottle/Truth or Dare_. Natalie brought her sexy dice to help us along 'case we get stuck. Rules… this is gonna get sexual. If you're not comfortable, leave." Everyone stared at the youngest one in the room. Cassidy blushed but shrugged.

"I'll… I'll stay." She said softly, holding onto Nathan's hand. He gave it a slight squeeze.

Jared grinned, "I knew you were cool." Rubbing his hand, he helped move the furniture around so everyone could sit in a big circle. Only ten kids were left, the others had gone sometime ago. There was an equal amount of boys and girls sitting beside each other so no one of the same sex were by each other. Cassidy didn't let go of Nathan's hand.

The game started off with Jared spinning the bottle. As it progressed, the dares and truths became more sexually oriented. The victim had a choice to choose a dare or truth, and when they couldn't pick, the dice were used. Already, one of the girls had her chest massaged by one of the boys and another had her tummy licked. It was Jared's turn again. Everyone watched the bottle spin. They all had gone for another round of drinks, and even Cassidy was having a beer. Nathan already consumed three and was ready for his forth. His breath hitched as the bottle landed on him.

Jared looked like a mad man as his grin widen, "_Truth or Dare_ buddy?"

"Uh… Dare?" Nathan slurred a little.

"I dare you… to have sex with Cassidy in front of everyone." The two reddened as everyone cheered.

Cassidy felt like crying as she began to panic. "Jared! Nuh… no! I'm still a virgin, and… and…" she stuttered. Jared waved her off.

"Fine… mouth fuck her pussy until she cums then. Happy?" he said snidely. Cassidy hoped it was the beer talking and not him. She sighed, knowing there was no way out of it. If she refused to go through with it, she would never come to another party and rumors would spread, corrupting her image at school to the point no one would be her friend. The stakes were a bit high. But this was what she was used to; she glared at Jared for his conditions of her coming over.

She shyly looked at Nathan who scowled at Jared as well with intense hate at that moment. Did he not want to do it? The thought hurt her feelings. Was she not pretty enough? They just met after all. Different emotions began to swell up as butterflies danced in her tummy. She was remembering why she even agreed to come to the party anyway. The reason was sitting beside her, not moving. She jumped as Nathan clamped his hand around her upper arm through her jacket. Her blush increased tenfold as he dragged her to the couch. Everyone circled around it as Jared got a camera ready.

"Ok… rolling." He said, wobbling back and forth a bit.

Nathan sighed and dipped his head to her ear, "Just to let you know, I've never done this but I _never _back down from dares and he knows it. I think he had more then he could drink." He whispered, "I'm sorry." Cassidy jumped a little as Nathan hiked up her mini skirt and slowly took her black panties off. She shivered. The black haired boy sat back.

"It's… it's ok." She gave Nathan a kind but shy smile. Cassidy spread her legs, throwing one of her legs over the top of the couch and the other on the ground. Jared got a close up of her naughty bits as Nathan stared transfixed at them. He never saw a naked girl up close before, not even in the playboy magazines the red head let him borrow.

"Hot damn, she shaves 'em!" Jared hooted.

The blond adolescent gasped as Nathan gently fingered her, marveling at the slick tightness of her virgin cavern. It felt as if a warmed piece of velvet was wrapped around his finger as he slowly inserted another into her. Cassidy arched up, moaning as she gripped her breasts. Nathan scooted as far back as he could to dip his head and lick her, lapping up the juice slowly oozing out of her. It was an unusual taste, but he found out that he rather liked it. He removed his fingers and covered her hole with his mouth, giving it a power suck before spreading her lower lips wide so he could stick his tongue in as far as it would go.

Cassidy choked on her breath, losing herself to the strange sensation of Nathan eating her. She forgotten people were watching as her eyes drifted close, her hips bucking up to his face. Nathan latched onto the bead that had been rubbing against his nose. He swirled his tongue around it, pressing as hard as he could against it. The action seemed to have heightened the experience for the petite girl below. Nathan hauled her legs up higher, resting the soles of her feet on his shoulders as he alternated between his tongue and finger.

In no time at all, Cassidy felt the spring inside her ready to burst. All it needed was one last nip from Nathan on her clit for her dam to break and her orgasm to rip through her. She gasped for air when she came down from her high, quivering a little as her body tingled. Nathan licked whatever he could from his face, before wiping it off on his jacket sleeve. The front of his shirt was soaked.

"That… was… fucking… hot." Jared said as he dropped his camera. Everyone chattered in agreement. Without even thinking, Jared pounced on the poor weak girl, ripping her tank top off while she let out a startled yelp. Nathan threw him off her and gathered her up in his arms without a second thought, pulling her skirt back down to cover her exposed rear. Jared passed out, the foul stench of booze coming from his open mouth. No doubt he wouldn't remember what happen in the morning, much less anyone else as they swayed back and forth. Nathan and Cassidy realized they were the only ones sober. The duo blushed.

"I'm leaving guys. Tell Jared to call me tomorrow. We need to talk." Nathan growled, picking Cassidy up and headed upstairs to leave. Outside he put her down and let her straighten herself up despite her wobbly feet. The two were silent as they stood there in front of the house. The bell on town hall rang. It was midnight. Cassidy zipped up her jacket so no one could see her bare breasts.

"Uh… well… See you… later, I suppose?" Cassidy said shyly, "I… I won't… um, you know? T-tell any… anyone." She was startled when Nathan placed his hand on her head and bent down to look into her eyes. "Nathan?"

"You going to be ok? I don't want to go home feeling like I raped you. In fact, shouldn't I walk you home? You're parents let you stay out late?" he didn't know why he was so concerned, but the girl was just so different. She acted more mature then the other sixth graders, and wasn't all moody after what they did. His fought done a growing erection.

She looked away, a deep blush on her face. "Oh… my parents are always gone. Like Jared, I'm left alone a lot." She giggled nervously and wrung her hands together, "And don't worry about it. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn't have gone through with it. I like you Nathan, but didn't know your name and I never had the courage to talk to you in school. You always pass by my choir class on the way to third." She stole a quick peek at her face.

Nathan cocked a brow, "Didn't have courage? And yet you let me and everyone see you naked? I just fucked you with my mouth, which is a first for me remember." His mouth twitch, pulling at the scowl he had. "Let me get you home."

Cassidy stopped him, "Can I go to your place? I live in the crappy part of town. I don't want to go home. You said your parents were gone." She smiled up at him, "Please?" Nathan sighed exasperatedly but yield as he led her to his house a few blocks away. They ended up holding hands along the way, and although Nathan wasn't affectionate either, he liked the feeling he had with her. It was different then the other girls he spent time with. He just met Cassidy, but he felt that he knew her longer.

When they got to his place, he led her to his room down the hallway of his one story house. Cassidy jumped on his bed and yawned. "Nathan?" she said softly. She sat with her back against the wall.

"Yeah?" he grunted as he took off his jacket and shirt, leaving his torso bear. Cassidy licked her lips a little, eyes his fine boyish physique and low jeans where a faint patch of hair traveled from his navel to underneath his pants.

"I wanted to say… thank you." She looked away.

"Why?"

"For giving me oral. I'll admit it, I masturbated a few times, but I never felt that good." He blushed a little. She giggled then realized something. "Uh… where's my underwear?" she looked at him, wondering if he knew the whereabouts of her missing garment. She stared mortified at him as he took it out of his back pocket. "You had them?"

He rolled his eyes as he sat on his bed, falling back until his head hit his pillow, "What? Did you want me to leave them there? Jared didn't even hit the record button on his camera, so I figured we shouldn't leave uh… you know, evidence? Hey!" he chuckled as she smacked him playfully with his pillow she had taken from right beneath him.

"Sicko!" she giggled, "Give 'em back. I don't want my bits stayin' bare." The two wrestled for a moment, not caring that she was in a short leather skirt with no panties. When she finally got them, she stuck her tongue out at him but didn't slip them on. "Silent… but perverted." She said a bit breathlessly, "Yup, I still like you."

"Why?" he said, folding his arms underneath his head, "You don't know me." Nathan looked down as Cassidy rested her head on his chest.

"Can I get to know you?" she asked softly, tracing patterns on his flat stomach with the tip of her index finger, "I like you because you're… you're not like the others. Jared said you're an athlete. Football, right?" Nathan nodded, "Well, most are pig headed, but you're not. You're cute, tall, well-built, I find silent men to be totally awesome…"

"Oh god, if it's gonna be like that then shut up." he said, "I deal with enough admirers as is."

She punched him, shocking him a bit, "_But_, I sense that you're lonely." Nathan looked at her questioningly, silently urging her to continue. "Jared said you don't have a lot of friends, because you're intimidating. But Nathan," he watched as she leaned up, running a small but warm hand over his chest, "Can I be your friend? I may be young but I want to be your friend. Fuck Jared and the others."

Nathan stared at her for the longest time then slowly he leaned up, both their eyes sliding close as he kissed her. Cassidy leaned more into him, running her hands through his hair and moaned, allowing him to stick his tongue into her mouth. Without even thinking he unzipped her jacket, moving it to the side and touched her soft skin. Cassidy shuddered and pulled away.

"Nathan…" she panted.

"Yeah?"

"I… I think, no… I _want_ to do it." she blushed lightly, shrugging off her jacket and taking off her ripped top. Nathan's eyes bugged.

"Huh? Are you… uh… sure?" he gulped. Cassidy grabbed his hands and placed them on her chest, mounting him waist in the process. The black haired boy gasped at the warm and wet sensation from her now very excited womanhood. His back stiffened, very much like another part of his anatomy.

The blond nodded, "Mmhm. I know Jared wants to get into my pants, but I won't let him have my virginity. I want to give it to you because I know you won't boast about it." she smiled.

"You're fucked up in the head, really." Nathan grumbled, trying to pull back. He couldn't do it.

Cassidy whimpered, "Aw, Nathan, please. I need you." She began to coax him by sliding back until she sat on the lump on his lap and ground into it then took one of his hands and sucked on it. His other hand, still not moving on her chest, was forced go back and feel her hidden treasure. "Ooh."

Nathan used every ounce of will power to push her away. He was panting like crazy, and stared at her in disbelief when she smiled more. "The fuck is wrong with you?"

She said nothing and pull her jacket on, not zipping it and adjusting her skirt to fluff her long blond hair in the end. Now that she was more somewhat presentable, she looked over at him and giggled at his flush face. "Just testing you. You got some really deep morals for a guy in puberty. Yup, any girl is lucky to have you." She stared at his aching bulge and grinning. "I can fix that for you."

Nathan tried to calm his racing heart. This girl was incredibly insane and dirty in a very sexy way. No doubt about it he was going to have wet dreams for the next who knew how long. He didn't even pay attention to his guest until cool hands unzipped his jeans and dove right in to touch lil' Nate. "Ah fuck!"

He screwed his eyes shut, groaned when his hurt was pulled out and Cassidy's hand began to work him. Poor Nathan couldn't handle it at the age he was and came instantly when her mouth met the head, squirting what he had to offer all over her chest and face. He laid back panting, exhausted beyond belief.

"We're even." She whispered. Cassidy got up and moved for the door, "I guess I'll go home. Too soon for us to you know. See you around Nathan." She winked at him and left. While the poor young athlete was trying to recover, Cassidy left her name, number and address on a piece of paper in the kitchen where the boy would eventually find it.

-----Present Day----

The men sat around, a bit shocked at Nathan's experience. There was just no words to describe what they felt but total awe. Pickles, being the one to have more common sense and quite observant for being a drunk, whistled lowly. Nathan seemed to be off in his own little world, occasionally taking a sip from his beer.

"There's more ta it den that, huh?" the Wisconsin man said, leaning back further into the couch from his spot beside Skwisgaar.

"Maybe." Nathan grumbled, snapping out of his day dreaming. "It was a long time ago…"

"Dids yous evers… hooks up?" Toki said shyly. "Not dat I cares." Which was a lie. Toki and the others were very much interested about this Cassidy girl. What was she to Nathan exactly?

The front man shrugged, "Yeah. For a while actually. Uh…" he threw his bottle behind him and went for the Captain Morgan. Taking a few large gulps from that, he smacked his lips, "Yeah. Dropped outta high school 'cause of her."

Now things were really getting interesting and all of them cursed about 'The Agreement' of not showing any concern or interest in each others' personal lives. No use in pressing on if Nathan wasn't totally hammered yet. They vowed that they would however; get to the bottom of this Cassidy mystery. The fact Nathan could even remember her name after so long was amazing.

"What happensch to her?" Murderface said out of curiosity, not caring about the pact right then. "You make is sheem like shomething bad happened."

Again, Nathan shrugged. "Hell like I know. But fucked up shit did happen. Couldn't deal. Only thing I can be grateful to her for was the fact she got me into metal. Little bitch was a metal head the whole time. Fuck she was hot." He sighed, putting the bottle down. "I'm going to bed."

The others watched him walked down the corridor, his hands in his pocket and a thoughtful look on his face. Did they bring up something bad? Skwisgaar folded his arms.

"Nows I interested in dis Cat-city girls. Da way Nat'ens says her names… pfft, I tinks he still has a tings for hers." Everyone agreed.

* * *

Howdy yall! I thought of this when all those Deth-kid fics started popping up about their pasts or whatever, so I thought I give it a shot… sort of. Uh, don't know how regularly I'll update this fic, but for sure it's going to be slow. It's a nice diversion from _Reunionklok_ though. I hope it's just as successful.

Basic idea of this work of fiction: I wanted to play around with Nathan's past, kinda make my assumption of how Nathan went from football star to metal high school drop out god. Yup, thought it would be fun. Enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2: FORGIVE ME!

**I am updating all my stories with this message: no need to review/comment, just hear me out as to why I've been on hiatus [AGAIN]**.

First and for most, I hope my readers are still out there. I want to sincerely apologize for my absence… However if you haven't figured out, I am a dumbass and well… I forgot my password. Yes, I forgot my mother-fucking password. It sucked ass, then out a stroke of luck at 4:30 in the goddamn mother fucking morning with a rumbling tummy three years later, I remembered it. I fucking REMEMBERED by far one of the easiest passwords I have in my arsenal, it's like spelling Mississippi but STILL getting it wrong because I mother fucking misspelled it. Who wins dumbass of the year award? THIS BITCH!

Second, my original crashed. Not like a virus crash, but fell of my desk and obliterated the already cracked screen. It stopped charging too. It went to laptop heaven and it sucks because I lost my hard drive I had backed up everything into. I have NOTHING. All of my stories I must go back to and reread them myself, retweak my shit grammar mistakes and for the love of god hope I remember the mother fucking story lines. Specifically my Inu Yasha fics. However, considered myself fucked because pages of notes and dozens of chapter drafts to go by are gone into virtual purgatory. I know there's a way to extract my shit outta my dead laptop, but I don't have the funds to see an expert. Where's my Dr. Horrible when I need him to rob a mother fucking bank for me? You can skip this next ish... It's only up for the mother fucking sake of venting.

* * *

Also, you know I haven't hid much from you from my personal life. I say things not to draw attention upon myself and hope ya'll would feel bad for me and leave me reviews to cheer me up. Oh no, I am as open in real life and I am online. I just don't dive into my sex life (at least detailed wise). Everything else though is game. The last few years go as followed, first notes bad, followed by positive shit.

-Finally recover from my near death experience, get a boyfriend who sadly lives in Florida, see him for the first time in person in October for Halloween weekend. I is loads happy, forget all about fanfic writing for a bit.

-Lost jobs- FREE TIME! Met some awesome new friends at the premier of Wolf Man, one becomes my best best friend later in the year, and my lover boy

-Get ticket in San Diego while seeing an old friend-Worth getting the wrong and cheaper bill for our sushi lunch and got free coffee bean

-BIRTHDAY- one year to go until I'm 21

-Mom finds ticket-its eight mother fucking dollars

-Mom kicks me out of the house because she's a bitch and I'm banned from see my babies for like 3 or 4 month (I love my baby siblings!)-Still see now ex-long distance boyfriend in Florida

-Yay week vacation!- Come back to live in the ghetto with my dad

-Two weeks later boyfriend admits he cheats on me—FORGIVE HIM!

-Two months later find out he's living with the bitch for half our relationship—BREAK UP WITH HIM!

-Cry for like a week to new best friend-Best friend and I start having sexy time

-Return to school- see lover boy often despite him living 60 miles away!

-Black out during New Years and results in my sister throwing me under the bus, thus banishing me from seeing my babies for 8 mother fucking months. Missed my baby girl's 5th birthday and her first day of kindergarten- my abuelita still talked to me!

-21st birthday-VEGAS! I lived the mother fucking Vegas dream. How my liver didn't explode or not pass out like New Year remains and mother fucking mystery.

-Find out why lover boy has been single for a few years- epic tears on my part for the saddest story ever. I literally wept for him and his experience. No, she did not die. She was an emotionally and mentally abusive bitch who blamed him for the shit she got herself into when he tried to man up. I knew her, and yea, she's a fucking psycho. Still is… however it resulted in us getting closer and what do you know, he starts to love me in return

-Day of finals, went to drink with my classmates and teacher, dad gets pissy and explodes on me about him wanting to divorce my stepmom- sweet lover boy allows me to stay with him for a week a few months later when his parents are gone.

- Turns out dad already has a girlfriend in mother fucking HONDURAS. Like fucking hillbillies, it's his nephew's ex WIFE who bore said nephew 3 children and has another one from another man! Work for a bitch-HAVE A JOB!

-After getting drinks with stepmom and friends the Monday after Thanksgiving, BOTH of my parents try to commit mother-fucking suicide. Still really fucked up from that night, I haven't been the same since. This led to more fucked up crap. Lover boy's cousin commits suicide Christmas day, I go to cheer him up, a week later I hear rumors he wants to get back with his ex from 7yrs ago, he LIES to me about it when he dumps me, I go apeshit crazy on the phone one night after having way too many drinks at a party, same night had to clean my friend's vomit from the bathroom floor while she's passed out pantsless on the toilet (I am an amazing friend, I know. All I remember was cracking the door open and asking for an entire roll of paper towels, some Windex and a baggy), 22nd birthday comes around but all I get from lover boy is a no-show when he and my other best friends are invited to one of the most beautiful lounges in LA (Check out the Edison, it's breath taking and steampunk and I could sploosh) so my feelings are hurt all over again on my mother fucking birthday. - - - -Met a nice guy at a bar and go on a few really wonderful non-sexy time dates with him. This isn't a bad thing. We start to date, yay!

-Dad costs the company he was working for almost a quarter of a million dollars because of a stupid mistake that could have been avoided if he wasn't fucking skyping with his katratcha bitch.- risk losing everything and be out on the street!... oh shit, that's not a good thing though….

-Get a hold of lover boy on Dia de las Madres, forgive each other for everything but his girlfriend is a bitch and hates my guts and doesn't want him talking to me, we gotta ninja our relationship again even though it's nothing sexy—mom finally gets her "dream wedding" which I was almost NOT invited to!

-Got a mother fucking traffic ticket for "texting" the same night! Two weeks later, lose my job! A week later: lover boy says we cant be friends anymore because he doesn't want to lose her. Beyond mother fucking pissed was I. A week later… DUI! Mother fucking stayed a night in jail without boots and my bra. Not a good time to wear a halter-top and a mini skirt- DAD PAYS LEGAL FEES

-Lover boy and I talk again only for a week later he tells me to ask his cunt-sucking whore for permission to be his friend, End up not talking to him for 2 months. – GANGSTA PARADISE PARTY WITH PEOPLE LIKE 5 TO 10 YEARS OLDER THAN ME! Who gives a shit if my ex texts me saying that he misses me and thinks about me constantly? Fuck that noise, I get drunk and chola out!

-Now boyfriend meets mom at the end of September, it was HORRIBLE, got to Universal Halloween Horror night same night, stop hearing from him the following Thursday and I have to deal with ex lover boy at friend's party. Mother fucking awkward as fuck.-End up talking to him the following Monday for 3hrs on the phone. Keep in mind he is a strong and stubborn man, but he was crying on the phone, apologizing and telling me he left me cause he got scared. Mother fucker loved me too much he wanted to marry me but the last time he thought that, he was with psycho bitch and he flipped out. I forgive him, see him the next day, epic and totally uncalled for make up sex that strangely dealt with many tears occurred. Saw looper and we decide to get back. Fuckmageddon II occurs between us while his parents are away a week later.

-Ex-lover boy gone legit boyfriend finds out his life was a lie and feels like an inadequate son. Uncle dies two weeks later- he's in New Mexico visiting family he hasn't seen in half a decade!

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There ya have the "cliff notes".

The beginning of the year I was on the verge of being an alcoholic, but now I'm much better and happier and putting my life back together on my own. My boyfriend is supporting me and reminds me that I'm not fuck up. Ever since the double suicide thing (not because my parents love each other, they can't fucking stand each other), I just haven't been the same. I had to tackle them both to the floor at some point in the night. My stepmom around 2:30AM and my father, a 350+lbs man at 5AM. With him it was the most traumatizing because not only did he swallow my stepmom kidney medication, I had to tackle this behemoth on my own. He's 5'10, I'm just less than 5'4" and I weigh half his size. I not only tackled him to the concrete floor while I have a bad back, I get him in a choke hold and incapacitate him long enough for the paramedics to come and cuff him. He thrashed and bucked, me below him in excruciating pain but like a mother fucking boss I held my ground like some mini she-hulk.

I hope none of you EVER have to go through such an experience. If you have, I am so sorry, but I hope you're coping with it in a healthy manner and not be like me with substance abuse. I am much better now thanks to my friends. Fuck my family… At least not my mother's side because they don't and will never know about my father's 'behavior'. As for my father's side… they support his childish 'love'. Their support and lack of questioning his sanity led to that god-awful night I still have nightmares about. Without my friends being there for me, I don't think I would have made it myself. I've been going through so much stress… I'm also out of school again and because we can't afford to pay last semester's tuition, I can't return for spring. I dropped half way last semester because of the stress and trauma.

In the next few weeks I should be pumping out new chapters! I don't have shit to do when I'm not with my boyfriend, at AA meetings or doing community labor. Think of it as an early Christmas gift! Hopefully I can start updating again on a semi regular basis considering I don't have a J-O-B and I only see my love on Fridays and occasionally Tuesdays' nights for sleep over's :D

Much love always.

Insane Kawaii Shippo-chan


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